Red table talk : just need to vent

Just need to vent and don’t have anywhere else I feel like I can. I don’t really know how to move past this hurt phase of a broken heart. I left him for his actions. I’m not going back. I don’t even want to because I know how bad it was. But I’m really struggling with the pain of it all. When I left I was already 3 months pregnant so I had to do the entire pregnancy by myself. He already had a new girlfriend before I even gave birth. When I did leave I just shut down and ignored how hurt I was so I could focus and get thru school. When thanksgiving came around the holiday season really hit me hard. Our family is not the same. I just became paralyzed and couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t get out of bed. Couldn’t think about anything but the hatred I have for him for how things turned out. I had the baby 12/14 and ever since then it’s just worse and worse every day. Even tho I don’t want to go back, and I never will, I’m still heartbroken. I can’t stop crying and thinking about this. Idk what to do or how to pick myself up. It just hurts so bad when someone you thought loved you, and you would do anything for, just betrays you. The fact that he has someone else already makes it even worse. It just doesn’t seem fair, and even tho I know life isn’t meant to be, I just wish it could be for me at least once. How do y’all move on past this? At this point Ive completely lost faith in love and relationships altogether and I never want to try again. I don’t even want friends. Just to be alone and left alone.